We have heard so much about the almost legendary ‘online right-wing troll mob’ that the image which immediately comes to mind is that of a marauding, rape threatening, acid throwing, Trishul wielding Internet Hindoo who will not allow genteel, cultured, unprejudiced, repositories of wisdom, scholars, intellectuals and celebrated journalists get a word in edgeways.
These paan chewing and gutka spitting (just taking the imagery further) trolls have debased debate to such an extent that the Left-Liberal finds itself so out of place in this boorish environment.
It is said every truth, however, has two sides. It is as well to look at both before we commit ourselves to either.
So, it must be said, for us ordinary RW folk that the biggest takeaway since 2014 on social media has been the meltdown of media luminaries and other celebrity liberals.
Some names will immediately come to mind and as Mithali Saran suggests in her piece “skip this whole article if you know all about it: it’s for those who don’t get what the fuss is about”
Unlike, the BJP ‘trolls’ who according to Ms. Saran are ‘lunkheads, tweeting at Rs.2 per tweet in some dingy basement in Chennai or San Diego’ the Congress we are given to believe has only ‘dissenters and debaters’ who are educated, enlightened, with a certain class, upbringing and a je ne sais pas quoi quality of cosmopolitanism, proud of their ability to speak the Queen’s English and tweet from Starbucks, a wood-paneled study and/or while sipping alcohol (free) somewhere in Lutyens Delhi.
It seems that these luminaries and celebrities are completely in sync when it comes to pushing ‘perception’ of drivers over data, lamenting over the plight of farmers, a newly discovered species, when it comes to building an argument against bullet trains, submarines, fighter aircrafts, GST, Demonetization, the declining rupee, restoring ancient names of cities and straight up lies.
These luminaries trade on “collective speech and collective unreason,” attempting to push a narrative, mostly unsuccessfully, purely because they have a platform and reach which much to their chagrin is slowly shrinking.
No matter the lofty claims of this club the aim remains the same as the BJP trolls which Ms Saran emphasizes is “to create a wall of sound- a nonsensical wall, perhaps one that is heard and can occasionally prevail just because it’s there.”
True to their Macaulay education these All-Season Experts replicate word for word the template sent out on a given subject by a Command Centre.
May I take the liberty to suggest the Congress IT Cell as Ms Saran has put the onus on the BJP IT cell?
It has happened time again that it’s no longer a coincidence that so many of these Leading Lights and Newbies write identical tweets.
Here these three luminaries remembered Bilkis Bano within minutes of each other.
When you no longer can lobby for cabinet berths, you can only guess.
The shameless Brown Sepoys.
When the ancient name of Ayodhya was restored to Faizabad there was this distinctive phrase suddenly on Twitter was the ‘Intoxication of power.’
Is it that they are not confident of their ability to communicate? Or is it that the Command Centre has always spoon-fed these ‘celebrity journalists and panellists’?
Nira Radia’s conversation with a high-flying editor comes to mind “Write this!”
“Like this or like that….?” asks the editor meekly.
“Like THIS!”
They also use Tier 2 aspirants.
Foul mouth men and women, who drop four-letter words after every five, no doubt in English, without impunity. Some, of course, graduate to complete hit job articles but the rest keep trying.
One former UPA Minister has two people who pop up on the thread if there is an engagement. Quickly snapshots the tweets where you might have used ‘salacious’ words are posted.
In my case, a tweet commenting that PM Modi did not even enjoy a honeymoon period was met with “You seem to have sex on your mind”.
These two also offer their enthusiastic services to a Congress spokesperson.
So yes, the other side too has their trolls and bots but when the charge is being led by celebrities on who are not definitely rolling in the muck for Rs 2 per tweet one is hit by their level of frustration, sheer anger and, of course, unemployment.
No doubt, the ‘right-wing’ could certainly learn a lesson or two.
Immediate activation of the Congress controlled leading lights, in other words, Congress trolls (cutely called Pidis too) is commendable.
Unlike, the ‘right-wing’ there is no open squabbling and hair-splitting among them.
This united coming together with a strict, enforced sense of oneness- be it for thieves, murderers, rapists forms a cohesive club which binds like-minded people who live in the hope of being rewarded, someday soon, to Rahul Gandhi and his IQ,
The discipline of copying the template is followed all the way from the top. Remember people, everyone has a boss. Even the Clown Prince.
Their message to the plebian supporters of this government not headed by a Gandhi is:
- English: First go and learn how to write in English before you engage with ME. I have lost the argument so I will correct your grammar. And if you persist with bringing up facts, logic, data. I will BLOCK you.
- The Bamboo Syndrome: You can’t digest the fact that we are superior to you. How? We don’t know, but we are! There!
- Go drink Gaumutra: Is that what they teach you (chartered accounts, economists, heads of industry, armed forces veterans, historians) in Sanghi schools?
- Nationalism: Is a dirty word. Not cool at all. You guys are so weird that you’re proud of this place, your culture, whatever. I mean take a flight to New York or London, ya.
- Hindus: This is SERIOUSLY a very uncomfortable word. I don’t know much about it because frankly neither do my parents, my friends and their families. But I know if you say ‘tolerant’ 108 times you qualify as one.
- Saffron Terror: Remember Rahul Gandhi and his mother’s minister Chidambaram came out with this evil, devious term. We are so compromised that we can’t tackle Islamic Terror however it is a great balancing trick that we often use on those who we lose arguments too. Never forget we didn’t find the time to charge sheet two people but brutally tortured and put them away for eight years…When it comes to ’certain’ folks. Remember they are guilty BEFORE being proved innocent.
- Romance of Islamic Terrorism and Naxals: Learn from us how to empathize with those who spread terror. Think of their parents, their poster boy looks (er..we’re talking of the Kashmiri strain here, the other lot sort of falls short in this department). Hold candlelight vigils, pull out the Judges from their beds in the hope of overturning sentences. I mean look as the World As One. (Throw in a Sanskrit shloka – template 2b here)
About the RSS karyakata who got slaughtered? Those vegetarian pieces of shit. Sorry, we’ve no time for violence.
- Spreading Lies: We get caught out soon enough and that’s why we HATE social media. See, how they didn’t even spare the mighty BBC! I mean some institutions are SACROSANCT. Weren’t we taught in school that colonialism was good for us?! Of course, it depends on which school you went to.
Seriously, whatever happened to those wonderful days when people blindly accepted what we doled out?
- Atheism: This is a perfect mantle to don when we want to criticize Hinduism. Not that we have much knowledge of the subject. But whatever. Can’t really criticize Christianity and Islam. One its uncool and second I want to stay on Facebook and Twitter and not have to run with my tail between my legs.
- You will know me when you hear: Misogny, MeToo, Brahmanical Patriarchy, Feminism, Post Truth.
Ms. Saran’s condescending piece only exposes the Left Liberal as a snotty club which recently embraced a Kanhaiya and a Jignesh to show that TheyToo had a Son Of The Soil connection but gradually lost the plot and swiftly fell to electoral defeats or ‘moral victories’ with somber, funereal debates on NDTV.
Whereas old wheelers dealers like Shekhar Gupta who for decades dished out popcorn that passed off as news, nuanced debate and unprejudiced fare are now making that last-ditch effort of try-and-sell-everything-before-we-jump-off-the-cliff.
With his trio of Vij, Kaur, Malhotra, who needs trolls?
For whom the bells troll dear Left Liberal is the rising sun on a new day, the unapologetic voice of a people who’ve fought hard to be heard.
Now go, pick up a placard.
