Republic day celebrations were not even over completely when the Prime Minister’s Office called for an urgent high level meeting as a national crisis befell upon us. In the meeting, along with PM Narendra Modi, HM Amit Shah, RM Rajnath Singh, IT Minister Ashwini Vaishnaw, NSA Ajit Doval, R&AW Chief, IB Chief, the Cartoon Network chief was also present. The agenda of the meeting was the fact that Rahul Gandhi’s Twitter followers were stuck and not increasing.
The meeting lasted till wee hours of morning the next day. At around 2 AM, the PM received a call from President Kovind to enquire what necessary steps have been taken on this matter of great urgency. PM informed him that in the next parliament session they will bring an ordinance that will force every Twitter user to follow Rahul Gandhi else Mukesh Ambani will disconnect their Jio numbers. However, the President told the PM that next parliament session is far away and asked him to pass ordinance by today evening itself. He informed Lok Sabha speaker to call urgent joint session under article 78(6).
On the other hand, right wing trolls were mocking Rahul Gandhi for crying about Twitter followers. It’s a fact that RW trolls are not aware of importance of Rahul Gandhi’s Twitter account and what it means for the nation’s security, economy and meme industry.
In January 2020 when world was going through massive unemployment, Rahul Gandhi hired 5 lakh Twitter warriors and these 5 lakh warriors created employment for million memers.
Rahul Gandhi, through his twitter account, keeps exposing China. He was the 1st one who informed the world about Coronavirus even before WHO. In fact, it was he who had kept a tab on the progress during his top secret visit to Wuhan a few years back.
Further, only people in revenue intelligence could crack what Rahul Gandhi meant when he said “ek taraf se aaloo dalunga and dusre taraf se sona niklega”. It was a hidden intel to find gold hidden in rectum. He went all the way to Kerala to get elected as an MP from Wayanad to let the world at large know that rectum gold will be found in Kerala.
Rahul Gandhi is so hardworking that even when he was holidaying in undisclosed foreign location he didn’t forget his duty and wrote a letter to Twitter about his follower count going down. He even spent time drawing up colourful graphs and compared his follower count with other ladykiller like the charming Shashi Tharoor. Even Tharoor got thousands of followers these past few months while Rahul Gandhi lost his followers.
Sources close to Congress tell us that Rahul Gandhi had actually planned a visit to Ajmer and visit the Dargah to pray for increasing his followers. But he was reminded that he should not trigger Sachin Pilot, the only loyalist left in Congress otherwise even the Gehlot govt in Rajasthan will topple and one more state will be lost along with Twitter followers. So as precautionary measure he visited Punjab to make sure at least Sidhu sticks around instead of crossing over the border.
PM Modi has assured that for next few days at least no new Congress leader’s job application to the BJP will be accepted.
