PM Modi has done it yet again!
Just when the liberals thought they can take a short break from outraging over his doing puja and relax over a cup of the first flush from the Janpath estates, he has forced them to rush to action stations to outrage yet again! How dare he create a statue of a lion with claws?
I know our liberal friends are keen to see India burn like Lanka (except for the part where the public set fire to opposition politician Ranil’s house), let us let our imagination run wild and assume that Rahul Gandhi is our PM and created this statue and BJP is the one opposing.
While both parties are perfectly capable of hypocrisy and political shenanigans wrapped up in a moral façade, we are more interested in the reaction of our world-famous ‘fearless and independent’ intellectuals, academia and ‘journalists’.
Opposition leader J P Nadda, in his tweet, said, “Shehzade’s decision to bare the lions’ claws is just a warning that they are planning to impose emergency and reveals the family’s fascist mindset. We will fight this just like we fought in 1975”.
Reaction was swift and brutal.
Rajdeep Sardesai quipped that BJP has run out of ideas and is now raking up trivial issues. “When so many other issues are there, why raise this? Shubh ratri!”
His wife and independent journalist Sagarika was more scathing – “If the BJP wants a docile animal, why don’t they propose the cow? What a decline from the 56-inch days!”
Varadarajan’s take was much more nuanced – “BJP once again reveals its fascist, patriarchal DNA. Male lions don’t show claws but female ones do, especially when they are threatened. By attacking the government over this matter, Nadda proves he still lives in the 18th century”.
Kavita Krishnan was asked for her reaction. “Sorry I am rushing from one revolution, I mean TV studio, to the other. Anyway, stop this fascist, Sanghi attempts to turn a lion into a cow. Cows are to be eaten, not lions. They eat so they need claws. Go back to school Modi, not WhatsApp!”.
Comrade Yechuri was as usual measured and intellectual in his criticism “This just shows the struggle of the subaltern is not over. We support this government from the outside since we want power without accountability as always and we strongly endorse this decision to change the lion’s docile persona. The claws represent the fight against Hindutva and superstition just as the sickle does in our flag”.
Shekhar Gupta had an entirely new angle in his usual 50-word editorial – “They want to hide the claws and turn the lion into a vegetarian. After all, BJP is still an upper caste party. Without claws what will the lion eat? Grass? If still in power, they would have asked all lions and tigers to stop eating meat. As a Punjabi, I relish my meat and so does the lion.”
Malini too seemed to agree. “What does Modi think? Is this Hindu office canteen? Does he want lions to eat curd rice and pickles?”
Swati Chaturvedi was at her best in her NDTV Op-Ed – “now that we have a dynamic young 65-year-old PM in Rahul, and dashing Rehan ready to step in to provide leadership, sources in the BJP tell me they are not comfortable. They prefer 95-year-old Modi to be back. And he has no teeth left. That’s why they are upset with the lions baring their teeth. This was confirmed to me by two very reliable internal BJP sources. Please don’t say I fished it out of my morning cup”.
Her colleague Rohini expressed it best “Lol Sanghis want a lion without tooth and claws, just like the godi media. I can fearlessly speak truth to power now as I did in 2017 before the UP elections!” On her Instagram account, she posted a nice picture of herself in her newly upgraded 4BHK happily munching on drumstick chicken with her teeth.
The issue has now become international. Greta Thunberg and the UN spokesperson condemned the reported statement of Nadda. “We are finding it strange that attempts are being made to change the fundamental character of a lion. This is bad for the world and makes climate change even worse by affecting delicate ecosystems”.
President Biden was told to deliver a strongly worded statement attacking Modi but unfortunately, he read out the lunch menu in his press conference. The intern responsible for this teleprompter goof-up has been sacked.
The NYT in a strongly worded editorial, condemned Hindu nationalists’ attempts to change the story of animal evolution and force fit it into their outdated worldview that was rejected by Indian voters. It also demanded that one of the four lions be declared non-binary and the other queer.
Stung by this reaction, BJP has now gone into the defensive. Indications are that they will quietly drop the entire matter.
