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OpIndia Evening Dispatch: Sunday, 3rd February, 2019

OpIndia Staff
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OpIndia Evening Dispatch: Sunday, 3rd February, 2019

In the hustle and bustle of the day, it is only natural to miss some of the biggest developments that impact the nation. The OpIndia Evening Dispatch will catch you up on the day’s event even if you have been busy thus far.

1. Bihar: Seemanchal Express derailment claims seven lives, relief and rescue operations on

As many as seven people have lost their lives in the Seemanchal Express derailment accident that took place in Bihar’s Sahadai Buzurg earlier this morning. Rescue and relief operations are currently underway and two teams of NDRF have reached the spot. Indian Railways has issued helpline numbers for Seemanchal Express derailment.

2. BJP sounds the poll bugle, launches the ‘Bharat Ke Mann Ki Baat’ campaign

With the high-stakes Lok Sabha elections just a few weeks away, the BJP today got into its campaign mode with the launch of ‘Bharat Ke Mann Ki Baat’ campaign through which it plans to reach out to as many as 10 crore families across India to finalise the manifesto. The committee, headed by Home Minister Rajnath Singh, will finalise the manifesto which will be compiled after consultation with various stakeholders, which include state units of the party and its supporters. The manifesto is being called ‘Sankalp Patra’.

To compile the manifesto, BJP President Amit Shah flagged off a ‘Rath Yatra’ on Sunday, through which mobile vans will be sent across the country to collect the suggestions. There will also be as many as 7,500 physical kiosks to collect the same. Apart from soliciting and accepting such suggestions through social media, phone calls, WhatsApp, etc. The BJP aims to reach out to 10 crore families through various means for compiling the manifesto.

3. After being denied to enter West Bengal by Mamata government, Yogi Adityanath addresses rally via telephone

Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath addressed a public rally at Balurghat in West Bengal’s district of South Dinajpur by telephone, after he was denied permission to address a public rally by Trinamool Congress government of the state. The West Bengal administration had denied permission for landing of UP CM’s helicopter earlier today.

4. Bangladesh: Mosque makes an announcement to save cows, two cow thieves get killed by locals

The grave issue of cow smuggling and illegal cow slaughter is not just a worry for India but also for the neighbouring country Bangladesh. Dhaka Tribune reports that two suspected cattle smugglers were allegedly killed by an angry mob at Kaliakair Upazila in Gazipur of Bangladesh.

As soon as an incident of cow theft occurred, an announcement was made through the local mosque microphone. An angry mob who spotted the cattle smugglers chased down two of them while the others got away. The two cattle smugglers were beaten up heavily after they were captured by the mob. Their bodies were recovered by police and sent to Shaheed Tajuddin Ahmad Medical College and Hospital in Gazipur for post-mortem.

5. Amit Shah asks opposition to clarify their stand on building Ram temple in Ayodhya

Bharatiya Janata Party President Amit Shah while addressing the Booth Adhyaksh Sammelan in Amroha, Uttar Pradesh, reminded the booth workers the importance of  2019 general elections saying that the states of West Bengal, Odisha, Kerala, Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Telangana are yet to be won.

Speaking on the Ram Temple issue Shah assured the workers that the party is committed to building a Ram Temple at the Ram Janmabhoomi in Ayodhya at the earliest. He blamed the Congress party for delaying the proceeding of the Ram Mandir case in the Supreme Court. Shah urged Congress President Rahul Gandhi to clarify before the elections whether he wants Ram Mandir to be built in Ayodhya or not. He even urged Akhilesh Yadav and Mayawati to also make their stand clear on the issue.

6. Four months after ED froze their bank accounts, Greenpeace India shuts its Delhi and Patna office

Four months after the Enforcement Directorate (ED) decided to freeze the accounts of the Greenpeace, the controversial NGO has decided to shut two of its regional offices in India and has asked its staff to leave due to a block on its bank account after accusations of illegal donations.

According to the reports, the centre had cancelled the registration of Greenpeace India under the Foreign Contribution (Regulation) Act, 2010, (FCRA) and froze foreign funding in 2015. Following that the Enforcement Directorate had accused them of receiving illegal donations while freezing its accounts. Greenpeace has decided to shut down its offices in Delhi and Patna, will also lay-off around 40 staffers. Reportedly, its campaigns and operations in Mumbai, Pune and Hyderabad were closed down in 2015.

7. Arvind Kejriwal moves on from ‘EVMs are rigged’ conspiracy, ‘your name is removed from voter list’ is the latest

Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal has moved on from ‘EVMs are rigged’ conspiracy to ‘your names are deleted from voter list’ conspiracy theory. Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal while addressing a public rally at Badarpur in Delhi on Saturday, said that the Bhartiya Janata Party (BJP) hates Muslims and people from eastern Uttar Pradesh and Bihar. That is why he claimed their names are removed from the voter list.

In recent times, it has been found that the Aam Aadmi Party is indulging in a misinformation campaign against the BJP by calling people randomly on their phones and telling them that their names have been removed from the electoral rolls of New Delhi.

8. We will stand with all the people who were ever part of India: PM Modi pitches for passage of Citizenship (Amendment) Bill

Speaking at a rally in Vijaypur, Jammu and Kashmir, Prime Minister Narendra Modi made a strong pitch for the passage of Citizenship (Amendment) Bill, which seeks to grant citizenship to immigrants belonging to six minority religions —Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains, Parsis, Christians from Afghanistan, Bangladesh and Pakistan.

Prime Minister Modi said that people belonging to ‘Bharat’ who are residing in neighbouring countries of Pakistan, Afghanistan and Bangladesh have been inflicted with severe torture and added that nobody in the past gave attention to address the plight of these people who are now seeking India’s refuge.

9. Bihar is centre for unemployment: Congress President Rahul Gandhi insults Bihar

While addressing a rally at Gandhi Maidan in Patna, Congress President Rahul Gandhi today said that Bihar is famous only for unemployment. “Bihar is centre for unemployment,” said the Congress President.

“Do you know what is Bihar a centre for? Unemployment. Bihar is a centre for unemployment. Go to any village in Bihar and ask the youth what they do, you will get the answer that they are not doing anything,” said Rahul Gandhi.

10. Unprecedented: High drama in Kolkata as CBI reaches top cop’s residence, CBI officers detained by Kolkata Police

Major drama took place in Kolkata as the CBI team which had reached Kolkata Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar’s residence was detained. A showdown ensued as Kolkata Police took away some of CBI officers to Shakespeare Sarani Police Station amid the commotion. Kolkata Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar, a 1989 cadre IPS officer of West Bengal cadre, is being investigated in connection with the Saradha scam.

Kolkata drama: Mamata Banerjee comes out in support of Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar, calls CBI probe a ‘political vendetta’

OpIndia Staff
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Kolkata drama: Mamata Banerjee comes out in support of Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar, calls CBI probe a ‘political vendetta’

West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee today came out in support of Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar and termed the CBI probe against him a ‘political vendetta’ by the BJP. Alleging that the CBI is acting on behest of Prime Minister Modi, Banerjee accused PM Modi and Amit Shah of ‘harassing’ her. She said that the BJP is ‘torturing Bengal’ and forcibly trying to ‘destroy Bengal’ because she did the Brigade rally.


Putting her weight behind Kolkata Police Commissioner, Banerjee said that he is “the best in the world”. Adding that the CBI action was NSA Ajit Doval’s idea, she said that since the CBI came ‘without notice’ to the Kolkata Police Commissioner’s residence, they could have ‘arrested the CBI’ but let them go instead.


She even said that she will sit on a dharna to ‘save the constitution’ and even carry out her cabinet from the dharna manch.

Ashtadhatu idols of Hanuman, Sita and Lakshman stolen from temple in Baharaich, UP

OpIndia Staff
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Ashtadhatu idols of Hanuman, Sita and Lakshman stolen from temple in Baharaich, UP

In another incident of idol theft in temple, the ashtadhatu murthis of Lord Lakshman, Lord Hanuman and Goddess Sita were stolen on Saturday night from a Ram-Janki temple situated in Rampurva village in Hardi Police station area in Bahraich, Uttar Pradesh, reports Amar Ujala. The thieves broke the lock of the temple in the night and took away the murthis worth crores in the international market. The incident has angered the people in the area. The police assured the people appropriate action and started investigating the case.

The incidents theft of precious murthis with high values in international market are on a considerable rise. In another such incident, three diamond studded gold crowns were stolen from the Govindraja Swami temple in Tirupati in Andhra Pradesh. The police are on a look-out for the thieves. The former Chief Priest of the Tirupati temple had earlier alleged that the State government and the temple administration were mishandling the temple affairs.

Theft of antique idols has become a constant threat to temples, especially precious murhtis of the temples or jewellery offered to the deities by devotees. Several incidents of thefts of murthis were reported last year mostly involving the theft of antique idols with high value in the international market. In November last year, the ancient ashtadhatu idol of Ugratara temple in Guwahati was stolen. Although the thieves were arrested by the police, the stolen items including the ancient idol could not be found. Due to this, the temple management had decided to get new idols made.

Unprecedented: High drama in Kolkata as CBI reaches top cop’s residence, CBI officers detained by Kolkata Police

OpIndia Staff
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Unprecedented: High drama in Kolkata as CBI reaches top cop’s residence, CBI officers detained by Kolkata Police

Major drama took place in Kolkata as the CBI team which had reached Kolkata Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar’s residence was detained. A showdown ensued as Kolkata Police took away some of CBI officers to Shakespeare Sarani Police Station amid the commotion. Kolkata Police Commissioner Rajeev Kumar, a 1989 cadre IPS officer of West Bengal cadre, is being investigated in connection with the Saradha scam.

As per reports, Kumar, who is believed to be close to West Bengal CM Mamata Banerjee, had gone ‘missing’ and the Election Commission had even sought an explanation about his absence from state home secretary. Later, Banerjee had said that Kumar was on leave. However, Kolkata Police later denied the media reports of his absence.

Drama unfolded earlier in the evening today as the CBI team landed at Kumar’s residence and the team was detained by the Kolkata Police. Director General of Police, as well as West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee, have also reached Kumar’s residence and a meeting is currently underway. Kolkata Mayor Firhad Hakim also just arrived at Kolkata Police Commissioner’s residence.

Note: This is a fast developing story and we shall update the same as more information is made available.

Congress President Rahul Gandhi addresses a rally in Patna, does not condole deaths in Bihar train accident

OpIndia Staff
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Congress President Rahul Gandhi addresses a rally in Patna, does not condole deaths in Bihar train accident

Congress President Rahul Gandhi who was on a visit to Bihar to address the  ‘Jan Akanksha Rally’ at Gandhi Maidan in Patna appeared to have ignored to condole the death that occurred in the Seemanchal Express train tragedy amid his hurry to target Prime Minister Narendra Modi.

Congress President Rahul Gandhi, along with his party colleagues, the Chief Minister of Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan- Kamal Nath and Ashok Gehlot respectively, were present at Patna on a day when the unfortunate train tragedy took place in the state. However, none of the leaders present on stage had the courtesy to express their grief in the hour of the tragedy. Even though Rahul Gandhi posted a tweet regarding his condolences for the people who lost their lives in the tragedy, he did not utter any word on the issue while he was present at the rally.

Six people have lost their lives died and several others have been injured after nine bogies of Delhi-bound 12487 Seemanchal Express derailed in Sahdai Buzurg of Bihar in the early hours of Sunday at 3:58 am. The Ministry of Railways has released announced an ex-gratia of Rs 5 lakh to the kin of those who lost their lives in the Seemanchal Express derailment in Bihar Sunday. Rs 1 lakh would be given to the grievously injured and Rs 50,000 to those who suffered simple injuries.

Rahul Gandhi while addressing the rally did stick to his regular pattern of false accusations against Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Rahul Gandhi who has been virtually blessed by the Congress-backed mainstream media resorted to his usual distorted accusations regarding Rafale deal which he has not able to prove yet. Rahul Gandhi went on falsely claim about farmer loan waivers in the states of Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan and Chattisgarh despite the fact that none of the government headed by a Congress Chief Minister has not fulfilled his promise of loan write-offs. He even ended up insulting the people of Bihar by calling Bihar a centre for unemployment.

The speech was filled with quintessential Rahul Gandhi goof-ups as he referred Nalanda University as “Nalinda” and threw up some magical numbers with reference to Rafale deal. The Congress President Rahul Gandhi also displayed his creativity of connecting entirely unspecified and unrelated issues with the industrialist Anil Ambani and fugitive Nirav Modi.

Rahul Gandhi’s farmer loan waiver lie exposed: Amidst severe outrage farmers threaten ‘mass suicide’ over fake loans in Madhya Pradesh

OpIndia Staff
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Rahul Gandhi’s farmer loan waiver lie exposed: Amidst severe outrage farmers threaten ‘mass suicide’ over fake loans in Madhya Pradesh

Kamal Nath led Congress government’s promise in Madhya Pradesh, to waive-off farms loans under Jai Kisan Rin Mukti Yojana has turned out to be a debacle. The false promises of loan-waivers have created a stir amongst the poor farmers in the state. Rahul Gandhi in December 2018 had boasted that the Congress government has succeeded in waiving loans of all farmers.


Amidst what can be seen as a massive loan-waiver scam brewing in the state, the farmers have now, threatened to commit ‘mass suicide’ after their names appeared on the state government’s loan waiver list even though they do not have any dues or have loans far smaller than the ones that are listed.

The distressed farmers of Hilgan village assembled at the panchayat office to protest against the faulty list on Saturday “We will commit mass suicide if this issue is not resolved at the earliest,” they said.

What is shocking is that there are several like the farmer named Ramkumar Singh Lodhi who found his father’s name also in this list who had died a few years ago. According to TOI, the list mentioned a loan of Rs 70,481 against Lodhi and Rs 9,547 against his father’s name. In reality, the farmer had taken a loan of Rs 17,000 only for sowing gram crop earlier this year and there was no loan taken on his father’s name.

Another farmer, Brajendra Singh, said, “Almost 100 farmers of the village are affected and those who have never taken a loan have been made defaulters out of the blue.”

However, according to the state government, it has already ordered a probe into complaints of fake loans.

The Congress party with their misadventures and the politics of farm loan waivers seems to be in the middle of a severe crisis as, recently, yet another farmer in the state of Madhya Pradesh was reportedly deceived by the Kamal Nath led Congress government after just Rs.13 was set to be waived-off against a loan of Rs.24,000.

Kamal Nath’ government’s inadequacy to keep up the big promises of loan-waivers made at the time of wooing people to garner votes before the State election has already taken three lives of farmers in Madhya Pradesh. Along with these deaths, many farmers across the state who had taken the loan from banks before 31 st March 2018 and that of more than Rs 1 lakh, have reportedly got loan waiver benefit of mere Rs 25-30.

The Congress government in the Madhya Pradesh seems to have already lost their control as the state has been rocked with severe protests by the farmers along with severe law and order issues in the state. Within weeks of Congress coming to power in the state, there has been a series of murders of BJP and RSS workers in the state raising concerns about the issue of law and order in the state.

The government soon after assuming power in Madhya Pradesh had set in new conditions to waive-off farms loans contrary to its earlier promise of unconditional loan waiver. In addition to this, the Congress governments in both Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan are facing severe outrage from the farmers within weeks of their government formation, as both governments in the respective states had created a crisis by mismanaging the supply of urea.

Similar dubious cases of non-existent farm loans being waived off have been reported in Congress led Rajasthan as well. Scores of names have appeared in the list of beneficiaries for the farm loan waiver scheme who had no loans against their names.

It so seems that the Congress in its haste to grasp a hold on few states had made several commitments without working out on the strategies. Had they concentrated on the here-and-now and thought of the aftermath earlier, it might have been possible for the Congress-led government to survive this experience.

Bihar is centre for unemployment: Congress President Rahul Gandhi insults Bihar

OpIndia Staff
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Bihar is centre for unemployment: Congress President Rahul Gandhi insults Bihar

While addressing a rally at Gandhi Maidan in Patna, Congress President Rahul Gandhi today said that Bihar is famous only for unemployment. “Bihar is centre for unemployment,” said the Congress President.


“Do you know what is Bihar a centre for? Unemployment. Bihar is a centre for unemployment. Go to any village in Bihar and ask the youth what they do, you will get the answer that they are not doing anything,” said Rahul Gandhi.

Rahul Gandhi’s insult to Biharis did not go down too well with Twitter users who expressed their displeasure over his comments.


Some people even pointed out that Bihar is not a centre for unemployment. After all, former deputy chief minister of the state was a 9th-fail fellow dynast like Rahul Gandhi.


And some didn’t let this opportunity to mock Rahul Gandhi pass.


This is not the first time a Congress leader has insulted Bihar. Earlier, Kamal Nath, Madhya Pradesh Chief Minister and senior Congress leader had insulted people from Uttar Pradesh and Bihar by announcing that the incentive for investment will only be put in place once 70% of Madhya Pradesh people get employment. “People from other states like Bihar, Uttar Pradesh come here and local people don’t get jobs,” he had said soon after assuming office.

After being denied to enter West Bengal by Mamata government, Yogi Adityanath addresses rally via telephone

OpIndia Staff
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After being denied to enter West Bengal by Mamata government, Yogi Adityanath addresses rally via telephone

Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath addressed a public rally at Balurghat in West Bengal’s district of South Dinajpur by telephone, after he was denied permission to address a public rally by Trinamool Congress government of the state. The West Bengal administration had denied permission for landing of UP CM’s helicopter earlier today.


“Mamta Banerjee must accept that you can’t misuse administration of the state, in a democracy, the way it is done in West Bengal.” Yogi Adityanath said while addressing the rally via phone. He added that the state’s administration is functioning like the cadres of the Trinamool Congress party and should not be acceptable at all.

“The TMC government did not allow me to come and meet you all” Yogi Adityanath was quoted by reports. “This is why I had to resort to Digital India of PM Modi to address you all”, he added. Yogi slammed TMC government for their ‘anti-people, anti-poor initiatives’ and also accused it of compromising national security.


Yogi Adityanath also mentioned the alleged interference of state government into Durga Puja processions, to further the appeasement agenda of the government. The UP CM appealed to BJP cadre of the state to work hard and work towards making a BJP government in the state.

“It is because of UP CM Yogi Adityanath’s popularity that Mamata Banerjee even denied his helicopter from landing in West Bengal.” Mritunjay Kumar, Information Advisor to CM Yogi Adityanath was quoted by reports.

As we reported earlier, Yogi Aditiynath was supposed to address two rallies in West Bengal today, but could not do as state denied permission for landing of his helicopter without any prior notice.

Congress continues showcasing its shallow mentality by insulting Manohar Parrikar

OpIndia Staff
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Congress continues showcasing its shallow mentality by insulting Manohar Parrikar

Although the Chief Minister of Goa, Manohar Parrikar‘s dedication towards his work despite his ailing health is worth being applauded, the Congress has been displaying their callous attitude by continuing to assault Parrikar on the pretext of his health.

The former defence minister who is suffering from a pancreatic ailment was admitted to AIIMS on Thursday evening for a routine check-up.

Meanwhile, exhibiting his crassness, Goa Congress leader Reginaldo Lourenco, took to Twitter to scorn the CM of Goa for his physical condition saying that “He should honourably resign or rather give charge to somebody. I’m not here to dictate terms, his party will dictate terms to him. But don’t go to assembly with that pipe in nose, all things coming out from your pocket. It doesn’t suit you.”


While the Congress’ leader was busy showcasing his uncouth intellect, there are many on Twitter who were quick to school the minister for the same.


Meanwhile, Reginaldo Lourenco is the same politician who had chosen the dubious website ‘Indiascoop‘ which is known for sharing unverifiable news, to spread misinformation about the total cost of Parrikar’s treatment so far.

However, this is not the first time Congress has mocked the ailing chief minister. The  Goa Pradesh Congress Committee (GPCC) president Girish Chodankar had poked fun at the CM by saying that he should come back to “hosh” (Consciousness) before speaking about Josh. This comment came after Parrikar addressed his first public gathering since he was diagnosed with a pancreatic ailment. “How is the josh? How is the josh?” asked Parrikar at an event, adding that he would transfer his josh to the audience.

Jaipal Reddy, a former union minister and senior Congress leader has gone a step further to mock CM Parrikar’s battle with cancer and stated that he is ‘sticking to his chair like a leech’.

In September last year, when Parrikar was being treated in AIIMS, Congress had approached the governor unsuccessfully to stake claim to form the government in the state.

When their attempt to form a government was foiled after BJP announced that Parrikar will continue as CM, Congress in Goa had floated the conspiracy theory that BJP is only letting him continue as CM because he knows some ‘secrets of Rafale deal’.

In another despicable display of power lust, a Congress leader in the state had again floated the theory that Parrikar might already be dead. Despite the Goa government clarifying that CM Parrikar has been clearing files from his hospital and there is no work pending from the CM’s office, state Congress spokesperson Jitendra Deshprabhu had demanded that BJP should either ‘show’ Parrikar in person or conduct his ‘Shradh’ (death rituals).

But what can be expected from the team, whose chief (Rahul Gandhi), himself has stooped to such low standards, that he used his meeting with the ailing minister for cheap political gains.

Rahul Gandhi, on his recent visit to Goa, had met the CM Manohar Parrikar, calling it a courtesy visit. Talking about the meeting later at a rally, Rahul Gandhi had claimed that Parrikar had told him that Parrikar had “nothing to do with the new Rafale deal orchestrated by Mr Narendra Modi to benefit Anil Ambani”.

Reacting to comments made by Rahul Gandhi, Manohar Parrikar had sent a strongly worded letter to the Congress president. He said that he felt let down that Rahul Gandhi had used the visit for his ‘petty political gains’. In his letter, Parrikar lambasted at the Congress president for making false statements and raised serious doubts over his sincerity and purpose of visit.

The Goa Chief Minister Manohar Parrikar (62) has been diagnosed with a pancreatic ailment in February last year. Since then he has been admitted to hospitals in Delhi, New York, Mumbai and Goa for his treatment.

He is currently admitted for a routine check-up at the Institute Rotary Cancer hospital at AIIMS under the observation of oncologist Atul Sharma. His condition is said to be stable.

Beyond the moat and the high gates

nandini
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Beyond the moat and the high gates

The Matriarch put her fork down.
~So, you’ve got the anticipatory bail? Good.
Our friends & employees are working hard to create the perception that the crimes and misdeeds of Are-You-Serious? are his alone.
They will paint a picture that Heir-Spare has stuck by him through thick & thin, devotedly brazening out & brushing off the allegations & controversies involving Are-You-Serious?

The image of your cotton saris in dusty Amethi, your sacrificing Madre (me), your dear departed father & grandmother always hovering in soft focus in the background will be subliminally conveyed to the country.

I know its not working very well because these people are now very cynical but as I have learnt over the many years, Indians like my compatriots are pliable to grease & graft and we just might pull it off.

Unfortunately, the persona of Are-You-Serious? is such that with his pink pants or the ones matching his Aston Martin can’t easily be hidden away.
And I’m told he goes around Delhi saying
~Tu Jaanta Nahi Meri Saas Kaun Hai? ~

Really, Are-You-Serious? you have brought too much attention to yourself.

Considering you come from no ‘lineage’ so to speak, we thought you would make yourself useful in some way to La Famiglia.

We got the best in the business to create those companies that do no business.
We opened the doors of real estate giants for you.
Two CMs bent backwards to help with your business expansion plans.
We bought that monstrous looking, concrete hotel in the heart of the capital.
We even asked you to bring your friends in when we were procuring fighter planes….
Do you believe that someone in an ordinary business trying his hand in costume jewelry could reach here without us?
Please remember your place~

Are-You-Serious? looked suitably chastened and The Matriarch showed her irritation by spearing her cannelloni- the recipe of which was being sent out to at least two top journalists.

~ As they say there is no perfect murder & no perfect heist~ she continued.
~ The one mistake, you my Son in Law have made, was not keeping to the perfect script.
Your visibility & your So Fcuking What? Attitude in neon trousers will have to be compensated by Heir-Spare in her cotton saris copiously crying vendetta! Remember we have to bring up all the stories of how they hounded me, your mother, your father, your grandmother!
I mean, these people just won’t allow us to make a living!

~Look at me. Do I have a car? No.
Does anyone know if I have my own house in this country? No.
Not that I need one when we have practically every fifth property in Lutyen’s Delhi but…. ~

Heir-Spare interjects ~But Mama you wanted those helicopters & see where that got us? If you had bought a few fighter aircrafts too they would have shut up.
So, don’t get angry at him. He hasn’t spent his life in fortresses. He likes going out, flaunting it, pumping it.

By the way, I’ve booked appointments with a dentist on Harley’s street for fixing sonny’s teeth. Could you have those offices which conduct no business book us a flight & a hotel suite for a month? ~

Are-You-Serious? immediately on his feet offers ~Sweetie, they haven’t sealed those offices which do no work as yet so I’ll have them book you on a flight to Dubai from where you can take the plane parked & ready on the tarmac to where ever you want.

~Dubaiiii! ~ Screeched The Matriarch
~They are picking up people from Dubai & you want her to go there? ~

~Okay, okay. Directly to London then and I will call Jeeves at Canneston Square to let him know you’re coming~

~What?!? How can I use a plane & a mansion that are not ours~? Asks wide eyed Heir-Spare.

The Matriarch smiles ~ Heir-Spare, they believe you are more intelligent than your brother. Please act the part~

~But. But. I thought they were borrowed …~ stammers Heir-Spare

~Borrowed like your brother’s jacket? Naah! Ours sweetie. All ours… ~ Are-You-Serious? expansively includes everyone on the table.

~Goody! Now at least we won’t have to slum it out at the Ritz~

The Matriarch gently turns to her daughter ~ Mio caro, this is good time to tell you that the luxury cars you own, worth several crores & the homes you own also come from the offices that do no work~

~That’s interesting~

~Do you know that your personal wealth is estimated at about 450 crores and your brother, you and I have never done a day’s work in our lives…. ~

~450 crores? Is that it? Then we must win 2019! But after the Budget yesterday it does seem a little difficult. I still haven’t understood why these people are so excited about Rs.6000/-?!~

The Matriarch looks out of the window at the verdant lawns, the flowers, the shrubbery, the retinue of gardeners…
~There is so much to lose. Wazir has explained the dangers of this Budget to The Heir. Though he has begun to attack it, his expressions during the Presentation have done us so much damage.
I don’t know what to do with you children? All my work can go to waste…. ~

The one thing that would have struck anyone listening to this conversation is the grace & culture that we have come to expect from La Famiglia. Speaking of ill-gotten wealth in English with a European accent can only add sheen after all.

Seeing them enjoy a simple meal amidst silver cutlery and candelabra, Royal Doulton or is it Villroy & Boch crockery on pristine damask could bring tears to the eyes of the most hardened. Their special touch & connection with the unwashed masses remains a mystery on which reams have been expended.

That’s exactly what a jaded literary critic in BullSh*t writes “voters appreciate in leaders the promise of humility and common touch that Heir-Spare has over the PMs arrogance & swagger”

~ Mio caro, remember to ask them to pack some ordinary bone china when you decide to drop in ‘unannounced’ for a meal with a farmer’s family in Amethi. You are the last arrow in our quiver now & so much depends upon you~

To distract themselves from the unimaginable that awaited them, The Matriarch tells her daughter
~Let’s read more of what they are saying about you Heir-Spare.
We have held back all those promising second generation dynasts so that you & your brother are not overshadowed.
Trust your brother to almost forget to mention that royal while announcing your name. But then poor boy – his mind wanders & his attention span is limited~

~I always say Democracy is not for Indians. They love powerful Kings, Queens and bending over~

Her eyes flitted over the fare of cheeses from across the world, the most succulent cuts & the choicest of wine sent from the vineyards of Tuscany.

She smirked ~ These people in government now probably think that gruel, that Kitchdi is God’s own culinary delight! Ha! ~

Spare-Heir reads out a beautiful paean –
~ This one says since I share my birthday with Swami Vivekanand so great things await me. Wow! It couldn’t get better! They absolutely love me Mama!
Don’t you worry I will save us all! ~

The Matriarch finally smiles when she pulls out another glowing article
~Loving mother! Tiger enthusiast! Heir Spare, in no time these people will forget Are-You-Serious? Has taken anticipatory bail & all the trouble he has caused us~

Not to be left behind Are-You-Serious? reads
“Not only does Heir-Spare listen, she listens to how others listen…”

~What does that even mean? ~ he asks.

~It takes a Renaissance Man to understand that~ says Slick-Flick making an entry.

~I’m working on sending out this message~

~In simple English I hope, Slick-Flick ~ the Matriarch smiles

~Simple enough~
With a flick of his hair, he reads it with great flourish

~Friends! Indians! Countrymen!
We’ve been ruled down the ages by one dynasty or the other, followed by British colonization that broke our spine & our spirit.
Keeping with that great tradition we offered you another dynasty that has mastered the art of governance learnt so well from our predecessors.
What more can we poor natives expect? Only the largesse & the goodwill of The Famiglia.
Its indeed our privilege to have these good-looking siblings lead us into the 18th century, oops! 21st century!
Whose empty top storey, we can surely overlook because all the stalwarts of the extended family will be there to hold their hand, guide them & of course take the bullet if necessary.
Moreover, they are offering us a very good deal & we all know how Indians love a good bargain.

~Forget about the minor pilferage & give your vote of confidence to one so that you get two for the same vote~

This is where Are-You-Serious? interjected excitedly

~And also, me for free~

~What vill ve do with heem?!~

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